If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down...

Ok, in refernce to the aforementioned question: WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT?!; I have definitely been here before. I used to frequently put limits on myself like in relation to such thoughts: no more looking at facebook until I can manage to think about something other than facebook, no more talking to him until I can manage to think about something other than him, no more talking to friends who do drugs until I can manage to think about something other than drugs, no more partying/whoring about until I can manage to think about something other than these things, no more reading gossip blogs until I can manage to think about something other than gossip, etc. Truthfully, many of these "thinking" qualms became noticeably obnoxious even to myself when I couldn't stop talking about these things, thus proving my lameness to others. Historically, I have always intuitively had too much time to think, and the rare moments others actually spoke to me were thus overcome with my inherent inability to understand normalcy. I never did cool things, let alone anything, and I basically have no skills or hobby now to show for my years of putting myself in a think tank of loneliness. I've thought entirely too much about thinking and grown to resent those who do not think as I do. So now, I approach the final frontier: the aversion of any thinking whatsoever. I want to be in a walking coma, where I only have a schedule to follow, knowledge to absorb and regurgitate, and friends to make inane banter with on a daily, but not too often, basis.

Monday, March 10, 2008